Here's a real heart-to-heart for you! I let you know about my background and why this show is soooo important to me.
Very much a "behind the kimono" type episode. For me, it's like I get a chance to sit in your living room (or vehicle) and just tell you how much I am rooting for future success stories! (P.S. no tissues needed...I think.)
I'm definitely looking for more impressive women to interview! If you are that woman or you know someone, check my calendar for available dates https://calendly.com/shenan-toote/science-sisters.
So that this information has a better chance of getting to the people who REALLY need to hear it, please support the show by commenting, rating, and subscribing. Because iTunes can make that process a little complicated, I'm including some directions to help below:
It would mean a ton if you could take 2-3 minutes out of your busy day to do this for me!
Shenandoa Toote Copyright 2019, Science Sisters
Announcer:: (00:00)
So you thought STEM only stood for science, technology, engineering and math. What about "stereotype threats erase motivation?" When Dr. Shenandoa Toote realize there were not many other woman of color in her scientific fields of study, she not only determined to be a role model but also to connect with other accomplished black woman. Welcome to the science sisters podcast, the resulting show that allows you to step into the lives of some of these woman for a day.
Shenandoa:: (00:37)
Hello everyone and welcome to my first podcast episode. And just to give you a little bit of background, actually, truly I never intended to start a podcast. So you will be listening in on some interviews that were originally done for a book I plan to put out there, um, that I felt would at least give people who are looking for some information, kind of like I was when I was in school, a place where they could find inspiration stories, insight, tips, tricks, shortcuts, advice and different things like that on their journey throughout science, technology, engineering, or math fields. So I'll just rewind a little bit and let you know what, uh, this whole journey has been like for me in science up until now. So I was always a pretty smart kid and got good grades in school and I think a long with that, um, being asthmatic as a child and being in the hospital environment, there was a lot of encouragement for me around going into health care.
Shenandoa:: (01:55)
I actually did enjoyed my science classes but I was good at pretty much everything. So I can't say I enjoyed science, um, over everything else because I had like, I liked art, I was as good as art though. Um, I liked computers. I was in the best in the computer class, but you know, as I might've been a computer designer engineer or something, but I ended up switching out my computer classes in order to take science classes in high school. So I kind of went on that track of doing science and heading towards medicine. I did a biology degree in, uh, as my bachelor's and I actually had math and chemistry minors because it was a part of their premed curriculum. And then I squeezed Spanish in there because I really enjoy, um, foreign languages. So that was undergrad and the whole time I was focused and determined that I was going to go to school.
Shenandoa:: (03:00)
I'm not originally from the United States, so I'm from the Caribbean, originally from The Bahamas and there's no medical school there. And most of my peers would have gone to the university of West Indies because there's a government subsea involved with that whatnot. But I'm kind of like the person who takes the road less traveled. And I found that it's interesting, but it's also, it can be more difficult if there's no one along the way that can help to show you what are some good steps and good timing. Timing is so important. So I went to Grenada originally and then transfer it into a school in Santo Domingo and the Dominican Republic. And I graduated from there with my medical degree. Um, we had pretty good exposure to clinical things, but the studies in medicine in the Dominican Republic aren't like they are in the U S where it's evidence-based. Like we had old copies of Harrisons that we would study from.
Shenandoa:: (04:07)
And I remember coming to the United States doing a really short rotation in surgery, having not really too much family that I could say I could count on to say, okay, what do I do on a rotation? Not having, um, advisors who could clarify like how to get prepared for that kind of thing. I really didn't know what I was getting myself into. So it wasn't a surgery rotation. I just chose it because I thought it would be good to be in the U S honestly, I was more interested in going to France for cause it was three months and not just one. Um, and looking back is probably one the things I think I have always done is choose things I think are gonna be good for my career based on where I'm headed. I didn't have very much fluidity and flexibility in my choices because my mind was fixed.
Shenandoa:: (05:12)
I was certain that I was going to be a physician in the United States. And so it seemed to me that it would be better to come to United States and then that way I could get to know medicine here and um, I would be able to meet people in this environment and, and whatnot. So for my career I decided to come. I came into New York, I spent a month in the surgery rotation and I think I did just about everything you could possibly do wrong cause I didn't know where to do this. Studying when they said to study things, I just looked in books that they had available, um, in the little room that they would, they would eat at and that they would eat in. And still all of this stuff that I looked up was so old. I think they probably thought that I just did not understand medicine in general.
Shenandoa:: (06:09)
And it's really, it was literally a cultural difference that I was experiencing. And so I got a B in that course and I mean that for my clinicals. You know, that was really disappointing because it wasn't so hard to get good grades for clinicals. And you know, as somebody who has really done well throughout an academic career, when I say do well and really talking about getting A's because that was for me the standard that I set for myself was to always get A's if I could. And so that was disappointing. I didn't get a good letter out of that. I um, actually there was, I had a couple of colleagues who were there with me, but one of them for sure was better prepared and I'm not sure if it's just because they kind of knew what to do going in cause they had studied and looked into it and, or they had some advice or what have you.
Shenandoa:: (07:17)
But I was really unprepared in that situation. I didn't know that. I shouldn't be telling everybody I didn't like surgery. Actually the surgery rotation was pretty cool because it was different from what I had a perception of surgery. My perception of surgery had always been, um, that there had to be cautery involved, which just the, I did not enjoy the smell. I've never been a queasy person. I can take this site of bled. I can stand the smell of, um, bodily fluids or what have you, and it's not a problem, but the burning flesh, sorry if it's too graphic, if you're not in medicine, but it is, that's the part for me that was the worst I would say. So I thought that all of the surgeries would always be like that. Having that smell are lasting for a really long time. And even though that wasn't in one of the best hospitals in the United States, what I got to see was that it's actually different and there's options.
Shenandoa:: (08:27)
You can do laparoscopic surgeries. And they also, I spent my days off, um, shadowing and off the mall because at that time I had identified an interest in ophthalmology and I could spend the entire day without sleeping in ophthalmology because I found it so interesting. Um, I've never been as interested about anything in medicine as ophthalmology. Definitely. Um, but that experience was just, it's unfortunate and a lot of the mistakes that I made could have been avoided if I'd simply known who to talk to or where to turn or what to study or how to prepare. Um, I could've just, I could've gotten so much more out of that experience. I could have performed better. I could've learned more. So that's just an example of one of the scenarios in my life that have helped me to come to a place where I want to be able to give back.
Shenandoa:: (09:32)
I want to be able to provide resources for young women who don't have them and I want them to be readily available. So initially the project was going to be a book I wanted to have published traditionally, simply because I wanted to be able to be on the shelves in libraries so that young women who can, who have an interest in the fields that the women are in, that I'm interviewing would be able to be inspired by their stories or learn from the tips that they leave. And I know that they are already talented. I don't have any doubt about that, that the, the women who were going to be coming across this information already have a lot of natural ability and drive. Um, but they just might not have really good direction depending on whether or not they have a good advisor or whether or not there's someone in that fit in their family who's already been down that career path, whether or not they have connections to other people who can direct them to places where they can go to get information if they're lacking it.
Shenandoa:: (10:53)
Uh, so that was just one example, but I mean, after graduating from medical school, having the opportunity to get into the master's program in vision science and ophthalmology at a great university attached to a hospital, well known for research and clinical medicine around ophthalmology in particular, whereas such an opportunity. But for me, I didn't know anything about research. So then again, it was kind of like New York all over again, but in science and I looked around and I didn't see anybody practicing medicine at that hospital. No female, no who was the same color as me. Like there was a couple of females. There are different from different ethnic backgrounds, but none whom I thought perhaps I can have at least a little bit of rapport at the beginning. And maybe I could talk to this person. So I spent the two years of my master's program almost all of the time, not sure who I can talk to or who I could trust to tell them that I was unsure about things or I didn't know how to do things.
Shenandoa:: (12:20)
Um, I set myself up for really on the healthy situations where I wasn't producing and so I was being hard on myself, but then also experiencing a level of, uh, intimidation in my classroom because I had a classmate who really seem to know what was going on, seemed to have really good direction with the mentor. And I really felt like there was no direction for me and that despite the fact that I enjoyed medicine, I was being directed into industry fields, which I didn't even know what that was. So that, that's just how limited my knowledge was. And it's nothing to do with my level of intelligence. Um, it's just simply not having exposure and not understanding certain things. So something so simple as what is industry, what this industry entail, wet is a mentor. How is that different from an advisor? How is that different from a coach?
Shenandoa:: (13:39)
Do people even use coaches? Um, how has any of that different from a sponsor, these are all things I learned while I was in grad school and play catch up is something that some people are able to do effectively and I was not one of those people. So then it can just continue to reinforce in me my desire to allow space that's safe, um, to, for, for women who are interested in STEM fields to get information, to have community, to find support, to know that they can come for question with questions, they can come for direction, they can know that there's somebody on their side and they don't have to worry about how a conversation is gonna affect their CV and how that is going to affect their chances for an internship or a work experience or a scholarship or a post doc on fellowship or a job opportunity.
Shenandoa:: (14:59)
Because none of that matters here. This is where you get to come as you are, and hopefully the information that's provided here, we'll keep you in, lightened, keep you encouraged, and help you to get to where you want to go in life. It's been said to me so often that if, if you don't have the belief in yourself, sometimes because the journey is difficult because it's winding, because there are unexpected roadblocks, there are unexpected difficulties. If there's ever a moment that you don't have belief in yourself, know that I believe in you and you can borrow my belief in you. Anytime it's, it's always here, it's always available. The reason that I'm doing this is because I believe in you because I believe in the work that you're going to do. I believe that the potential that you have is going to be realized. I believe that you're gonna make the world's a better place.
Shenandoa:: (16:21)
I believe you're gonna find the exact spot that you're meant to be in and that in that place you're going to leave a Mark and it's gonna be wonderful experience. But the in between times, the, that rough part of the journey where you're not sure if there's anybody around who is thinking the same thoughts as you, who's experienced the same difficulties as you. I'm here to tell you, yes, we're here and we support you and we believe in you. I know I said it but I could just keep saying it over and over again because I never, when I was in that position, it would have been so nice to have heard someone say that to me. It would've been so nice to have someone who I knew had my back no matter what. So I'm here for you. You're going to provide as many resources as I possibly can learn from the interviews is these women are amazing.
Shenandoa:: (17:34)
They are so wise. They've learned so much from life already so that you don't have to go through the same experiences in order to learn the lessons. So borrow the wisdom from the women that are sharing their here. But in addition to that bar my belief and know that things definitely happen for a reason, and I'll be honest with you is there's so many people that tell me do day when they hear about some of the difficulties that I've had over time, how strong I am. And I really don't like hearing that there's, there's like two things, there's two things I really don't like hearing. I don't like hearing how smart I am because that for me is just redundant. And I already know that. I already know I'm smart and I, I really don't need that to be reinforced. And then the, I don't like to hear about how strong I am because that is just a side effect of having to kind of it.
Shenandoa:: (18:51)
So it feels like really graphic to say that, but claw my way through in a professional field and I'll, I'll just let you know, just in, in full transparency, I never went to a residency program. Um, and I believe that is because I lost my belief along the way and didn't feel that I really had support to get there, so I was not as enthused to continue that journey. So I'm kind of passing on the torch here. Uh, I hope that does not too much pressure for those of you listening if, but I want you to know that it's actually okay if your journey takes a different direction as long as you remain confident and convinced that the direction you're going is the right one. And although I didn't go to the residency program, I have found like alternative ways to contribute to society and this is one of those ways. So I'm very excited about the opportunity that I have to be a coach, uh, to be a supporter, to be a cheerleader
Shenandoa:: (20:29)
and see the next generation of women in STEM come into fruition and do so in a very strong and powerful way. So best of luck to you on your journey. Thank you for taking time to listen in. Thank you for your support. I love the fact that you're here to learn and I just want to leave one more encouraging word that I've been saying to people throughout this year and that is may love and light be in your life today and always, if you found any value in this particular podcast, you're looking forward to learning from the women that I'll be interviewing over the course of time here. Please go ahead, take time to rate and subscribe, leave a comment, and if there's a particular topic that you'd like to hear about over time, please be sure to leave those in the comments because I will go through those and I'll see how best I can serve you with the information that you need in the best possible delivery that I can get it to you, so enjoy the rest of your day. Thanks again for tuning in. Stay tuned for the next episode.
Shenandoa:: (22:14)
If you are in amazing yet underrepresented women of science, technology, engineering or math or you know one, please send an interview request for referral to the link in the description, calendly.com forward slash Shannon hyphen tooth forward slash science hyphen sisters. That's calendly C A L E N D L Y.com forward slash Shenan, S H E N A N hyphen Toote T O O T E forward slash science hyphen sisters with an "s." (calendly.com/shenan-toote/science-sisters)